Most of us have a childhood fantasy of how we want our soul mates to be or look like when we were young. As young girls, we were fed on fairytales like Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty which led us to believe that when we meet our Prince Charming, we will all live happily forever. In present times, with all the material trappings and creature comforts that one can demand, girls have come up with the 4 Cs of Condo, Car, Certificate and Cash as part of the “requirements” in looking for a soul mate in addition to the ‘normal’ criteria of tall, dark and handsome? Long gone were the days when the cavemen just need to pummel a woman that takes his fancy and drag her to his cave! Of cos if you were to try that now, you’ll probably be charged for attempted murder and kidnapping! LOL
What does one look for in a soul mate? Hahahaha…a lot of people have posed me this question followed by the snide remark “Don’t be so choosy lar”. Well, I think sometimes it’s not a matter of being really choosy but it’s a matter of meeting the right person at the right time. You meet a lot of people all the time but whether both of you ‘clicked’ is another matter altogether. Yes, no doubt one can just pick any Tom, Dick and Harry in this world, get married and that’ll be the end of it. But with the divorce rate sky-rocketing in the past decade, one can’t help but be cynical about the sanctity of matrimony nowadays.
Why are there so many young professional women who are still single, not only here in Malaysia but in other parts of the world becoming a trend? Are they all choosy or are there just not enough men to go around? Time. Time is a crucial factor in our fast pace life and it works against us. All of us have 24 hours each day but yet it’s still not enough to do everything. On weekdays, we wake up, goto work, goto gym, eat, watch some TV then it’s time to sleep. Weekends are spent doing house work, running errands, socializing and hangout with frens. Where does one find the time to get to know new people and from where? And where are all the good men hiding anyway? They don’t seem to hangout anywhere? And when you do ‘spot’ some of them, you questioned their ‘sexuality’. Can’t help it. Times have changed. Gender preferences have changed too so things become somewhat more complicated. Sometimes, it’s just too hard to ‘distinguish’ the hetero from the homo and you wouldn’t want to give out wrong signals to the wrong person. Oh well, that’s my opinion anyway.
When you are sitting in your desk almost 5 to 6 days a week, 10 hours a day working, the only people you are most likely to meet are your colleagues, who are mostly married, the “Smug Marrieds” (like what Bridget Jones call them). They are the smart ones that either found their spouse from their ex-firm, school or from university. Either that or they just accept the first proposal that came their way. The leftover ‘unmarried’ ones are usually termed the ‘castoffs’. So, who looks at ‘castoffs’? Maybe ‘castoffs’ from other companies I reckon. Hahahhaa….Okie, I used to be a ‘castoff’ too… 
It gets harder as you climb the corporate ladder cos then you ‘upped’ your criteria too. The ‘threshold’ comes up a notch and your ‘pool’ of ‘potentials’ becomes even smaller. So, we become big fishes swimming in a really small pond looking for other bigger fishes together with the other small fry. Survival of the fittest? Probably. I personally know a number of single, successful professional women who just lack a partner and they themselves have the 4Cs. Anyways, it’s sad to say that a lot of men, especially Asians who feels ‘threatened’ by women who are ‘smarter’ or earned a higher salary than them. Perhaps it’s an excuse or maybe their ‘inflated’ ego really cannot take the jolt. Perhaps it’s both…..I really don’t know. Unless you happened to look like a leggy ‘supermodel’, then they’ll probably have a ‘fling’ with you or you are so filthy rich, that they don’t mind being your pawn or toy boy.
Right, back to my list of criteria. Yes, I used to have a long list of them and anybody who doesn’t fulfill one or two of them don’t even get a chance to come close. That’s my ‘weeding’ process. Now, my main criteria is communication, not sweet-talkers or ‘mindless chatter’ but people who talks something which are of substance. As I grow ‘older’, I realized that I’ve become more and more talkative and I need a companion whom I can talk to. It must be a ‘growing old gene’ ingrained in all of us which starts to activate once we passed a certain age I reckon. So I guess that explains why our parents never stopped nagging us or can practically talk to any strangers on the street, be they young or old.
A good friend once told me that it’ll be fantastic to find a ‘male version of me’ as her soul mate because we can continuously talk all day and night. I am not sure why. Perhaps both of us are really talkative or we just share a lot of common interests? Anyway I never did have problems talking to anybody, a trait that I probably inherited from my dad but the only thing is I have my moods. So if you happened to catch me in a ‘not so good’ mood, then I’ll just give monosyllable replies.
The millon dollar question is would you have accepted ‘a male/female version of yourself’ to be your soul mate? I guess it all boils down to whether you subscribe to the Opposites Attract or Familiarity Breeds Contempt notion?
As for me, given a choice, I wouldn’t mind having ‘a male version of me’ as my soul mate. 
Click here for a poem on soul mates by Kris Carlson.
SC Said:
on Tuesday April 17, 2007 at 1 00 pm
Err…a male version of me would be bad…sure explode one! Kekeke. Hence…Bernsy. Hmm…thing is, I wasn’t looking when I found him. I did have some criteria and he really wasn’t my type, but he made me think of what really is my type anyway? As for the 4/5 c’s…I am happy with the one C I got…Care. As for soul mates, is there only one? What if you don’t meet him at the right time? Then how? Some people don’t believe that there is only one..”the one” doesn’t exists…rather its “the possible oneS”. And don’t forget, some people just “settle” with what they got and get married, jut to BE married…they are happy that way, but I guess people like you and me are not….which is why they brand us “choosy”.
ladynina Said:
on Tuesday April 17, 2007 at 1 10 pm
to tell u the truth, if possible, i dont want my life companion a guy version of me. reason? opps… reasons?
1. i’ve no patience, especially when it comes to work or do something. everything must fast.
2. i want everything ‘right’ at all time. i need someone who is more realistic and practical.
3. i talk a lot. i want a less talker guy.
4. as much as i love to talk, i think a lot oso. so i want a ‘relax’ and calm person to keep me sane.
…. yada…yada..yada…
so i cant imagine if i have a guy version of me as my companion… my life will be chaos. gagagagaga…. but… but… the one thing i have that i want that someone to have it too is THE BRAIN. muahahahahaha… so perasan… you can slap me now.
alas, nowadays good guys are hard to get. even if they are there, the 1st Q to ask is, straight or not? then only ask single or not. heehee. i mean no prejudism but that’s the fact in today’s world.
gosh ! i wrote a lot. see, toldya i like to talk ! muahahahahah… more will come later. muahahahahahhaha !
ultraviolet Said:
on Tuesday April 17, 2007 at 2 05 pm
Yeah, SC i do agree with what u said. I used to have the mindset of looking for ’someone who meets my criteria’ but then, find out that i dun actually ‘clicked’ with them. Sometimes, the ‘right person’ is under our nose all the time but cos they didn’t fit in the criteria that we set, we just cast them aside. Life dun give you 2nd chances so peeps, appreciate those around u and look closely….there are some ‘possible ones’ just hanging by the sidelines trying to get u to notice them….
ultraviolet Said:
on Tuesday April 17, 2007 at 2 30 pm
Nina…
For me, the benefits of getting a ‘male version of me’ would be…(aiks, bit perasan here lah…hehehehe)
I am a talkative person and i’ve gone out with ‘mutes’ and i don’t like the fact that i seemed to be talking to myself or just ‘entertaining’ the other person…i want somebody who is able to give feedback, not just listen and smile at me like i’m a ‘clown’…
I am also a very active and adventurous person (can’t sit still) so I need somebody who can keep up with me, follow me on my spontaneous crazy ‘jaunts’ instead of lagging behind or a homebody cum couch potato….it’ll kill my ’spirit’ and i’ll be miserable..
I also treasure my freedom and loathe those who wants a daily ‘report’ or worse, ‘3 times’ report (morn, afternoon and nite) of what I am doing at that time of calling. We are 2 ‘mutually exclusive’ individuals, not a ’subset’ of each other so it’s good to give each other ’space’ to lead our lives. Soul mate refers to an equal ‘partner’ not ‘owner’ and ‘ownee’ (is there such a word?)
Above all, I value brain over brawn (but if got the physique then will be bonus!). I like people who are ’street-smart’ and ‘intelligent’ and are able to think & speak on the same ‘wavelength’ as me….not nerds or ‘textbook regurgitators’….u know how some people who can just finish ur sentences b4 u say them or get the punchline when u tell them a joke? Yeah, those are the ones that i meant….
Lastly, i like those who can speak and write good English. I’m a banana so my cantonese is really not that good too. Sometimes, i use words or phrases without knowing their meaning so it’s good to be able to ‘communicate’ with somebody in a language that i’m good at…
And, yes, I’m also very long-winded…comes with the ‘aging process’ again…hahahaha
Anyone fits the ‘above description’ are welcome to submit their application!
Flick cHick Said:
on Tuesday April 17, 2007 at 7 17 pm
A male version of myself as a partner? Anytime man, anytime
ultraviolet Said:
on Tuesday April 17, 2007 at 7 18 pm
Hahahaha…just shows how much u love yourself, huh? LOL
The Essence of Friendship « UV-Musings Said:
on Wednesday May 9, 2007 at 4 14 pm
[...] always cherish. Here’s to us! Hope we will have many more happy years to come!!! Other than Soul Mate , friends are companions for [...]
ellazuri Said:
on Friday July 31, 2009 at 1 03 pm
its finnaly nice to read someone elses views on a soul mate ..cheers ..xx